What's going on today, mr.magoo?
Sounds as though you may need a break from your toys and take care of yourself. Your wellbeing comes first, the computer can wait. I don't know anything about your situation, but it doesn't sound good. Call your doctor, go to an emergency room, call 911 or a crises center, whatever you need to do, do it.
I speak from firsthand experience, life can be tough at times, but I always bounce back from adversity, which I've had more than my share of.
Best of Luck,
Cat